i just came from our choir practice [pandacan] today. i wasn't really planning to post something today due to stress..but because i want to read her blog, i have to be online. and because royce tagged here in my site, i also had the inspiration to write something.
anyway, i'm really tired right now, but due to unknown explanations, i have the energy to post something.
about ymca, its soo boring to write my experiences alone. so i think now's the time to write something else than about experiences only. ymca lasted for 5 days, from november 29-december 3, and within that 5 days, i have experienced something worth remembering. it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that nobody can take from me. honestly, i had a dilemma if i would really go join ymca. i wanted to join to forget, but i also hesitated because of the price.
but in the end, i paid the fee, and there was no turning back. i just thought that it's ok, because at least i would forget everything..that was my main purpose of joining ymca - to forget everything. but ymca helped me more than that.
as we were on our way to baguio. [oh and by the way, it was my first time to go to baguio and it was also my first time, and probably the last, to join ymca..] i really enjoyed the travel. at first i thought that i would feel out of place because people seated around me are those whom i'm not close to..[whatever >_<] anyway, i was wrong..it was hell a lot of fun and extremely memorable too! also, on the way, i had the mindset to have a "makapal na mukha" at baguio, so that i would be busy, to forget everything..
let's make this short..when we were already there, wednesday, it was already late so we just packed our things and went to bed..the next day, we first strolled around baguio city, bought things and took pictures..after lunch ymca started..i then belonged to commission 4..at 6:00 pm, i was officially our commission's chairperson..
i was happy that little by little i was doing my purpose in going there.. although he texted me thursday morning, as well as friday evening, it was nothing to me.. [ows?!] anyway..
as i was about to go to bed thursday evening, i realized that i have made a mistake..i realized that it was my first time to join ymca, and to be a chairperson in an instant?! pathetic..i didn't know what to do and i was afraid that i won't be able to do the things a leader must do..that time, i just thought that i should just sleep first and ponder over it the next morning..
friday morning, before breakfast, i was thinking of backing out as a chairperson..was that permitted? haha, i don't think so..i really pondered over it deeply, and i asked myself, 'can i really do it?'
after breakfast i realized that i should not be much of a coward to back out in such things. i should have confidence in myself and i have to get that award for a most outstanding delegate..i have to face challenges..
and that's what happened..i realized that i have made a mistake by promising something that 1.) i know i cannot fulfill no matter how i try and 2.) is usually made by a coward
now i know that we should face our problems, no matter how hard they can be..turning back is equivalent to cowardice..i know that i cannot do anything as of now, but will it hurt if i wait? i think no..so that is what i will do..wait until God knows when..its hard, but i'll take the risk..i just wish that he also will..
thank you YMCA..so much.. =)_
_aKu_
- MY LIFE STORY -
ako si mani..bakit mani? kasi masarap ako! haha (what the hell does that mean?) anyway, you found me, that's what's important..sabi sau e..hindi ako mahirap hanapin ^_^ thanks for bothering looking for me..even though i'm a mere nut only..thank you! i really appreciate your effort..
i want to be revitalized..i want to start anew..i'm getting tired of doing things that will seem to have no good outcome..i want to take back my pride, my dignity..
for those who have been hurt because of me, my actions, and my big mouth, i am very sorry..i know my faults, and i really want to make up for the mistakes that i have done..i have done my best and exerted a lot of effort..but to no avail. i have done my part and i think it is time to give myself a break..
please don't get me wrong..i am still here and is patiently waiting..but i guess i just have to let things be carried by the wind..i realized that sometimes, i really will not be able to control things..
and for those FEW people who could understand me and is always there beside me, thank you. i really thank you for being very patient to me..i just hope that you will never leave and will always be my friends.. =)
this is mani..and i hope you'll enjoy my new boring blog..haha XD
.lab ku.
tubig
sunlight
minerals
God
luis ^_^
green and yellow
.yak.
cockroaches
traffic jams
back stabbers
people pretending to be a somebody
