hmm..so i have proven everything. thank you thank you..

i am so disappointed..

=(

--------------------------------------

here's a video that i sooo love..the part that i love most, was when laguna gave loire the ring..the ring! very sweet..i hope you too enjoy this one:



_aKu_

the place was beautiful, clean, and relaxing. although the place looks different, she knew that it was her previous school, judging from the people she could see. it was near the end of the school year and the teachers were announcing the names of those who got awards. every student was excited, especially those who expect to receive even just a certificate. as much as everyone around her was very happy, she was still nervous, for a reason she doesn't know. maybe it was because she knew that it was already the end of the school year..

everybody was happy..students were laughing, telling jokes..even the teachers were happy. yes, she received something, but it seems that there was still missing in her.she strolled, indulging the beauty of her surroundings. the place was really clean.it was really different from the school she used to know. she could see familiar faces, from those belonging in her batch as well as those who are not. she hated it. the happiness of the atmosphere while she feels something not good is going to happen. she hated it.

she wants to be alone. have a moment with herself.

suddenly, she came to a place that seems to be isolated. students could pass by this place, but it seems that either they ignore it, or they simply couldn't just see this place. she stayed there and thought about many things..her past memories..she really was sad that time..


and then this girl came..she was also sad. she knew her. she could recognize her.. she wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her. she felt some sort of a familiar bond with this girl. whatever that bond is, it seemed to have disappeared. it's as if this girl was her sister, or a friend. she was crying. she doesn't know why. she couldn't help it. without realizing it, she found herself in front of the girl.

she was still crying, and the she placed her head on her shoulder and continued crying. she doesn't know why, but ironically, she felt relieved. she knew things were going to be okay. happiness suddenly came back to her. she comforted her. words were never spoken but still, she knew everything will be fine.

and then, she woke up..

"a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep.."

i agree..

"in dreams, you will lose your heartaches. whatever you wish for, you'll see.."

if that is so, i don't want to dream, for i fear that when i wake up, the heartaches are still there, stabbing your heart..

"have faith, in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through..no matter how your heart is dreaming..if you keep on believing..a dream that you wish, will come true.."

i hope so..

-----------------------------------

its been at least one month since he left, and i still can't cope with the changes. it really is hard. very sad, especially during nights, particularly during those hours when one tends to think about many things. those two years, especially those five months have been very memorable, and i know that it will never end there. this is just something people like us have to face, to fight, and we intend to win it. i don't want to grow old only reminiscing those days..i want to live them until i die.

this may sound hopelessly romantic..people may call this an obsession..well, call it whatever you want, i figured out very few people would understand this feeling.

this day is the start. the real start of everything. both will be busy and will have limited time to talk, but they will do everything..

almost everything in this world is not permanent, nor predictable. if there's one thing i am sure about, it would be that i love him. i miss him so much..and i am sure that he misses me too..

_aKu_

i really have no idea what to write here. college life is so boring that i don't want to post something about it here. i'm not even sure if i still have a life right now..it's really dull and..well, boring. it seems that almost everything that i do in school doesn't make sense. it's like..i am studying because i have to study. that's it. period. no fun, nothing.

there is only one person who makes me happy, ^__^

some of you may wonder why the heck did i change my address, and i am sure that most of you guys are thinking of a certain reason why. actually, you're wrong. i changed my address because i have a deeper, much deeper reason. and it's definitely not because of what you think. owkay? ^__^

grabe..sabi senyo e.boring lalo tong bagong blog na to..haha XD

_aKu_

its really haaaaaaard..

uhm..i've been looking at various people's profiles in friendster..and it so happens that i bumped into someone's profile whose comments contain condolences to her and her family..

i just thought..what if i was that girl? i mean, would anybody comfort me? or at least express condolence? i became sad for that girl..although i haven't yet experienced having a family member die (well, i have deceased siblings, but i wasn't yet born when they died..), i know how hard it gets losing somebody important to you..believe me, it really is hard..

okay, so what if i was the one who died? would anybody cry? as a matter of fact, would anybody ever go to my burial? haha..i know this really sounds crazy, you know, talking about dying and stuff..but i just realized that sometimes, i have to think of these things..i also know that this sounds very pessimistic, but i guess nobody would ever cry..i mean..the REAL sort of crying..well, maybe there would be one, two, or three people..and i guess that, if ever i'm gonna die right now, i won't be remembered..i haven't achieved anything different..and i also wonder if i have touched even only one person's life..i wonder if i have made a difference even for only once..i wonder if ever the people around me have been happy to know me, or to be my friend..

whenever i look back to the past, i remember various moments..some are happy, some are sad, some are exciting, some are funny, while some are frightening..

i prefer to remember the happy and funny ones.. ^__^

it really is weird when you are alone..you tend to think about various things and realize that a part of you can be serious..when i was going home last night, i thought, that however painful some things may be, beneath those painful experiences are memories that you will never want to forget. no matter how many times you tell yourself that you just want to forget about those things, a part of yourself holds you back..for you know that somehow, in one way or another, you have been happy. i've had plenty of those..

but what's ironic about this, is that whenever i reminisce about those happy moments, a part of me still aches. you may know why..

a human heart is really complicated, as well as life itself..i just realized that maybe it is better to be just a small, innocent child who thinks of nothing else but simple things: food, playtime, toys, cartoon characters..these sort of things..as one grows up, his/her life gets more and more complicated..later on you have to make choices, be strong to take risks..dapat may diskarte ka sa buhay..

i just want to live a simple life..

why do you yearn to live, knowing that all things must die?

grabe..complicated talaga ang buhay.. >_<

_aKu_

eto na naman ako..nagpupuyat..hindi makatulog..

>__<

miss na kita..aw..

*toink*

*4.20 am*

"chocolates will make you feel better.."

er..apparently not..

just days ago i was alone at home, watching Voyager..food was at scarcity these days so i was eating milo..yes..eating..i know it's pretty weird but i'm also sure that some of you out there tried that..you know..papak..yes..anyway..while i was watching a thought suddenly struck me..

"i am alone.."

nah..don't worry this won't be mushy..i just realized..just months ago my hands were getting tired of clicking keypads of my phone..i had somebody to talk to, whenever i want. but now, nobody's out there..nobody remembers..and really, that made me sad..i was alone at home..no one was there..

so chocolates don't necessarily make you happy..or feel any better..

---------------------------------------------------

just awhile ago i saw two chickens, a female and a rooster, to be exact. and just a random thought occured to me..

i wish i were just like these chickens..carefree and they don't have to think of problems..damn problems..

er..on second thought, i don' want to be grilled..

---------------------------------------------------

this is really weird..i soo hate nostalgia..i hate the feeling of being left out..desertion..i feel like i don't belong..i find it hard to fit in..and to make matters worse, i'm in a new environment..

this is gonna be a hell of a year for me..i swear..

---------------------------------------------------

well..looks like only three people found my blog..anyway..thank you guys..it really made me happy..

^___^

--------------------------------------------------

what a very boring entry.. oh..and by the way..
09208913332
09224719696

just in case somebody will be kind enough to keep me company =)

_aKu_

Get Your Sexy Name

hahahaha goodluck sa mga naghahanap sakin! (kung meron man)

tata for now! =)

i would be surprised if ever somebody'll know my new url by tomorrow..hahaha =)

this is the last time you will see my blog as http://tawanalang.blogspot.com/

hmm..just a piece of information..i will temporarily remove my previous posts so that you will have a hard time (hopefully..haha) finding me..but i will not remove my links and tagboard kasi wala lang..haha..so..this is my last post and by tomorrow, this blog will no longer have this url..

so guys..goodluck! and i hope you would really try to find me.. ^_^

_aKu_

ako si mani..bakit mani? kasi masarap ako! haha (what the hell does that mean?) anyway, you found me, that's what's important..sabi sau e..hindi ako mahirap hanapin ^_^ thanks for bothering looking for me..even though i'm a mere nut only..thank you! i really appreciate your effort..

i want to be revitalized..i want to start anew..i'm getting tired of doing things that will seem to have no good outcome..i want to take back my pride, my dignity..

for those who have been hurt because of me, my actions, and my big mouth, i am very sorry..i know my faults, and i really want to make up for the mistakes that i have done..i have done my best and exerted a lot of effort..but to no avail. i have done my part and i think it is time to give myself a break..

please don't get me wrong..i am still here and is patiently waiting..but i guess i just have to let things be carried by the wind..i realized that sometimes, i really will not be able to control things..

and for those FEW people who could understand me and is always there beside me, thank you. i really thank you for being very patient to me..i just hope that you will never leave and will always be my friends.. =)

this is mani..and i hope you'll enjoy my new boring blog..haha XD


tubig
sunlight
minerals
God
luis ^_^
green and yellow


cockroaches
traffic jams
back stabbers
people pretending to be a somebody

yihee..magtag ka na! =)

online





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MISS YOU

everyday and every night
this feeling i'd fight
try as i might but i won't win
i surrender, i'd die
you are winning here alright

every morning when the sun
would shine on me
i'd flash a smile but deep inside
i feel so sad and lonely
I NEED YOU HERE AND NOW

i miss you
it's crazy to pretend that
i don't think of you
the more this feeling
just seems to grow and grow

i miss you
oh how much longer can i hold on to?
maybe you can come and tell me
that you miss me too =)

miss you..

all i want is for this love
to last forever
you walked away, never came back
oh i tried to recover
i can't bear it boy alright

when i hear a song
that we had used to share
i try as might to hide the tears
and when the pain is over
i wish that you are near