uhm..i've been looking at various people's profiles in friendster..and it so happens that i bumped into someone's profile whose comments contain condolences to her and her family..
i just thought..what if i was that girl? i mean, would anybody comfort me? or at least express condolence? i became sad for that girl..although i haven't yet experienced having a family member die (well, i have deceased siblings, but i wasn't yet born when they died..), i know how hard it gets losing somebody important to you..believe me, it really is hard..
okay, so what if i was the one who died? would anybody cry? as a matter of fact, would anybody ever go to my burial? haha..i know this really sounds crazy, you know, talking about dying and stuff..but i just realized that sometimes, i have to think of these things..i also know that this sounds very pessimistic, but i guess nobody would ever cry..i mean..the REAL sort of crying..well, maybe there would be one, two, or three people..and i guess that, if ever i'm gonna die right now, i won't be remembered..i haven't achieved anything different..and i also wonder if i have touched even only one person's life..i wonder if i have made a difference even for only once..i wonder if ever the people around me have been happy to know me, or to be my friend..
whenever i look back to the past, i remember various moments..some are happy, some are sad, some are exciting, some are funny, while some are frightening..
i prefer to remember the happy and funny ones.. ^__^
it really is weird when you are alone..you tend to think about various things and realize that a part of you can be serious..when i was going home last night, i thought, that however painful some things may be, beneath those painful experiences are memories that you will never want to forget. no matter how many times you tell yourself that you just want to forget about those things, a part of yourself holds you back..for you know that somehow, in one way or another, you have been happy. i've had plenty of those..
but what's ironic about this, is that whenever i reminisce about those happy moments, a part of me still aches. you may know why..
a human heart is really complicated, as well as life itself..i just realized that maybe it is better to be just a small, innocent child who thinks of nothing else but simple things: food, playtime, toys, cartoon characters..these sort of things..as one grows up, his/her life gets more and more complicated..later on you have to make choices, be strong to take risks..dapat may diskarte ka sa buhay..
i just want to live a simple life..
why do you yearn to live, knowing that all things must die?
grabe..complicated talaga ang buhay.. >_<
_aKu_
- MY LIFE STORY -
ako si mani..bakit mani? kasi masarap ako! haha (what the hell does that mean?) anyway, you found me, that's what's important..sabi sau e..hindi ako mahirap hanapin ^_^ thanks for bothering looking for me..even though i'm a mere nut only..thank you! i really appreciate your effort..
i want to be revitalized..i want to start anew..i'm getting tired of doing things that will seem to have no good outcome..i want to take back my pride, my dignity..
for those who have been hurt because of me, my actions, and my big mouth, i am very sorry..i know my faults, and i really want to make up for the mistakes that i have done..i have done my best and exerted a lot of effort..but to no avail. i have done my part and i think it is time to give myself a break..
please don't get me wrong..i am still here and is patiently waiting..but i guess i just have to let things be carried by the wind..i realized that sometimes, i really will not be able to control things..
and for those FEW people who could understand me and is always there beside me, thank you. i really thank you for being very patient to me..i just hope that you will never leave and will always be my friends.. =)
this is mani..and i hope you'll enjoy my new boring blog..haha XD
.lab ku.
tubig
sunlight
minerals
God
luis ^_^
green and yellow
.yak.
cockroaches
traffic jams
back stabbers
people pretending to be a somebody
